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Anxiety isn’t you. It is something moving through you. It can leave out of the same door it came in.
-James Clear
Anxiety is a great liar and manipulator; it forces you to believe that it is a part of who you are, forever a piece of your identity. In reality, anxiety is an experience, no different than the temporary feeling of riding a roller coaster. How do we get off of this involuntary ride and reach for something a bit more calming and reassuring?
Challenge it.
That’s right, challenge these anxious and negative thoughts… become an expert at mental combat. Here are a couple of helpful tips to help anxiety move from a state of being to something that is only an experience.
Is there evidence to prove or disprove that this thought is true/real/accurate?
Really ask yourself to give actual proof that what you are thinking is true. Oftentimes we can negotiate any thought into becoming our perceived reality. Anxious about a possible break-up? If your partner has not given you any inclination that this is going to happen, anxiety will feed off of the fear of being rejected, abandoned, and alone by distorting reality into proving itself right. By asking yourself this question you must also come to terms that your own views may be skewed due to fear and.. anxiety.
What would a friend think about this situation?
If you become stuck in your own perspective, then give yourself a new one. Stand in the shoes of a friend who loves and cares about you. Would they say that you are on the verge of being left or would they look at the situation and recognize that there may be some anxious self-sabotage happening? Be open to seeing your anxiety and negative thoughts in a different way.
If I look at a situation positively, how might it be different?
Again, being caught up in our own emotional thoughts can leave us defeated and unwilling to believe that there is any positivity to be had. Willingness to shift your view is all that is needed.
Will it be like this forever?
What will this situation and the outcome of this situation matter in 6 months, 1 year, and 5 years from now? Anxiety says “this is the end, there is nothing else on the other side of this emotion/situation/thought”. Does your rational brain say otherwise? Most anxious thoughts are able to sustain because it plays on something that is much more deep-rooted. If you truly fear being alone or rejected, anxiety will always find a scenario where you are encountering rejection and isolation.
Mental warfare is tough. It can plague us for years on end. The thing about anxiety is once you become aware of your triggers half the battle is won. As wonderful and complex as the human mind is, there is one certain fact, it will always default to the same scenarios. Let’s be honest… an anxious mind does not take nearly as much effort to go into a tailspin as one that knows how to argue with itself.
At Mind Works Counseling Services in Lubbock, TX, we are able to help the individuals riddled with anxiety. We look forward to helping you find a door or window to crawl out of and help you develop the tools needed to move forward.
Learn more about the Anxiety Counseling services we offer.
Contact us to schedule an appointment or to let us answer any questions you may have.